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BBC News Headlines

Brexit: Theresa May will not ask EU for long extension

No 10 says the PM shares the public's "frustration" at Parliament's "failure to take a decision".

Christchurch shootings: Jacinda Ardern calls for global anti-racism fight

New Zealand's PM tells the BBC that right-wing ideology must be confronted after the mosque attacks.

Brexit: The choice facing British citizens living in Germany

What Brexit, freedom of movement and citizenship mean to three people living in Berlin.

Cyclone Idai: 'Massive disaster' in Mozambique and Zimbabwe

Hundreds of thousands of people in Mozambique, Zimbabwe and Malawi could be affected, UN says.

Kingfisher boss to go as profits fall further

The chief executive of Kingfisher, the group that owns DIY chains B&Q and Screwfix, is stepping down.

Football Headlines

Nations League victory would eclipse World Cup semi-final, says England's Harry Kane

England winning the Nations League in 2019 would eclipse the achievement of reaching the 2018 World Cup semi-finals, says Harry Kane.

England's Danny Rose backs Raheem Sterling in criticising portrayal of black players

England full-back Danny Rose says players were "over the moon" to see team-mate Raheem Sterling criticise the way black players are portrayed.

Euro 2020 qualifying: All you need to know about European Championship qualifiers

How does it work? Who is looking in good shape? And how does the Nations League tie in? We explain European Championship qualifying.

That Peter Crouch Podcast: 'He's one of them, but one of us too'

As That Peter Crouch Podcast returns for a second series, co-host Tom Fordyce explains how the Burnley striker has become the chief raconteur of the Premier League era.

Harry? Karl? The odds on the name of Peter Crouch's unborn child

A bookmaker is taking bets on the name of Peter Crouch and Abbey Clancy's unborn child.

Cricket Headlines

Ashes shirts to feature player names and numbers

Players' shirts will feature names and numbers for the first time in Test cricket when England host Australia in this summer's Ashes series.

England women beat Sri Lanka to win ODI series

England claim the ODI series in Sri Lanka by winning the second match of the three-game contest to take an unassailable 2-0 lead.

Afghanistan defeat Ireland to record first Test victory

Afghanistan earn their first Test win after Rahmat Shah's 76 and Ihsanullah Janat's 65 helps them earn a seven-wicket victory over Ireland.

Dimuth Karunaratne: Hampshire set to be without Sri Lanka opener as overseas player

Hampshire could be without opener Dimuth Karunaratne this season as he emerges as a possible Sri Lanka World Cup captain.

Ian Bell: Warwickshire batsman out for three months after toe surgery

Batsman Ian Bell will miss the start of Warwickshire's season, after surgery to repair a ligament tear in his toe.

The Register

Voting machine maker vows to step up security, Fortnite bribes players to do 2FA ? and more

Plus: Feds break up another 'dark-net drugs op'

Roundup Summer rolls on, Reg vultures are making the most of their hols before the September rush hits, and in the past week, we saw Lazarus malware targeting Macs, Adobe scrambling to get an emergency patch out, and Democrats losing their minds over a simple training exercise.

Experimental 'insult bot' gets out of hand during unsupervised weekend

Creators ticked off for running CPU flat out over the break

Who, Me? It's that time of the week again, where Reg readers 'fess up to IT errors and jokes that went awry, in the hope of some catharsis.

Smut slinger dreams of AI software to create hardcore flicks with your face ? plus other machine-learning news

Your need-to-know

Roundup It's a long weekend in England and Wales, with many Reg vultures taking time out and making the most of what's left of the quiet August month.

Quit that job and earn $185k... cleaning up San Francisco's notoriously crappy sidewalks

Just waiting for the tech bros to disrupt this dump delivery service

Everyone knows that America's big cities and especially San Francisco live in their own financial bubbles.

Everybody dance now: Watch this AI code fool friends into thinking you can cut a rug like a pro

Day one: Dance moves. Day two: Committing crimes?

Video Are you a bad dancer? Do you want to pirouette like a ballet pro? Don?t worry you can fake it until you make it ? with the help of artificial intelligence.

Newcastle United News

Ex-England midfielder Parker retires

Ex-England, Charlton and Tottenham midfielder Scott Parker announces his retirement from football.

Taxman's football raid 'may be unlawful'

HMRC officers seized documents from Newcastle United as part of a tax fraud investigation.

Newcastle keeper Sels joins Anderlecht

Newcastle United goalkeeper Matz Sels joins Belgian champions Anderlecht on a season-long loan.

Premier League fixtures in full

Find out your club's full fixture list for the 2017-18 Premier League season.

Cisse leads tributes at Tiote memorial

Papiss Cisse leads the tributes at a memorial for former Newcastle team-mate Cheick Tiote, who died after collapsing in training in China.